Navigations are at the top
ABOUT {what i've}
LINKS {been looking for}
TAG {all this time}
Labels: this breakdown eating me alive
I feel like pouring all my feelings in here. I know this is personal but this feeling has been inside me for quite some time and I need a diary to vent what I'm feeling. I realise I still have a blog and here I am.
I always have this feeling that I really hate that I cannot avoid which is feeling insecure about MYSELF. I have try to find a reason on why I feeling this way for quite some time. I have think about it every night.
In the end, I know why. Especially when I'm with him. It's because when I saw other hot girls, it makes me feel not confident of myself. They are the attention of many guys. And when he looked at these girls, it really make me feel insecure although he said many times he only love me.
I once asked him what's in his mind when he looked at girls, he said he compare me and them. In the 1st place why he wants to compare me with them???? Why is there a need for comparison??
It really make me feel sad. I want him to ACCEPT me for who I am, not changing me to become like other girls. Just like the song by Bruno Mars, Just The Way You Are. I really wish he understands...
Am I not beautiful to him anymore? And I feel his expectation on me has become higher.
Come on, this looks are only temporarily given by God. I try to dress and doll myself for him, not anyone else. That's not enough?
I really hope this feeling will ends...I never felt like this before. Maybe because he keeps telling me I'm fat and that makes me feel more insecure.
He thought my definition of insecure is I afraid he goes to other girl but I realise after a long thought, thats not my definition. It about myself NOT him.
Please accept me for who I am if you really love me.
School going to start this Tuesday. The day I have to wear formal. :/
As usual RP always start on odd day, Tuesday instead of Monday. I've seen the modules and who will be my classmate. And ya, there are some friends I knew.
6 more months and I'll be in 3rd year. Can't wait for school to finish. I hope my attachment will be last of 6 months before I graduate so I no need to come to school anymore after that.
Will be going to Pulau Ubin camp in March next year for 2D1N. My friend that has gone said it was very tiring but worth it. So will be looking forward for that. I have never been there before.
About my results, hmm..I glad that it has improved by 0.1 but still I need to work hard if I want my GPA to go up. Tough? Not sure how my next sem modules will be like especially Macroeconomics..
Had finally meet my ITE friends and catch movie together. Eat Pray Love was a good movie, it has good storyline. Best movie to watch with your girlfriends.
